Category: Dating and Relationships
I am curious to know what people think about in terms of one's personality. Do you like people for who they are? Or, do you judge them upon first meeting them without getting to know them first. All comments are welcome. Let's see where this goes.
Judging a person on first meeting depends on what that meeting is. If it's a business metting then no I'd not think that person was showing or being themself, now if it were a social meeting then I'd some what set a few opinions about them, but would reserve any judgements tell after a few more meetings if we were able to do so. So I suppose I do set some mental notes about a person, but these are not locked in, so I'd say I don't judge, just use caussion.
Everyone passes judgment upon choosing to talk to someone. THe first of which being is this person ok to talk to.
Nem-
I try and keep an open heart and open mind with all people when talking to them, then it depends on their personality, but I don't judge in any ignorant or prejudice ways. It's more like if they like to blather on about news and politics and math and things that are boring to me, I judge that they won't be a good and compatible friend to me.
Agreed with nem 100%.
i'm not one who judges at all, my current ex was into smoking, drinking, and other things, knowing i didn't like it, and he's even had a criminal past, and i still loved him, i'mnot a person to judge when it comes to friends either.
maybe it's just me being shallow, but I do judge in the sense of if there is someone or something that I find hurtful or that brings back hurtful memories somehow I may automatically think that person is just as bad as the previous person from where the memory originated from. I don't know, I guess it's that whole stereotype thing.
Everyone judges, whether they say they do or not. Like Nem said, you judge a person before you even decide you want to talk to them. And you judge them when you decide you want to continue talking to them after that initial conversation ... nor not, as the case may be. I don't judge a person before I get to know them based on rumors I hear about them from other people, even if I hear them from my best friend, but sure, I pass judgment without knowing the person really well. First impressions are important, and if someone makes a negative one, it's likely to stick with me. That's not to say that it's set in stone, but it does have an influence on any future interaction.
I can't help judging people, it's not my fault. I don't think it's wrong to do if it's the only way for a person to be safe.
The homeless people living in our communities can teach us a lot you know. One of the first lessons I got in learning how not to take things at face value came from such a homeless person. His gimmick was to stand by freeway exits with a red gas container asking for change from motorists or from pedestrians walking by. This bastard didn't own a damn vehicle, not even a bicycle! Yet there he stood all day, begging for money and all the people gave it to him. He's probably a rich man by now. lol
I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't just believe what others tell you about themselves, especially those who are being considered for a relationship, platonic or romantic. You never know what manner of person you're letting into your life. Imagine dating some wierdo, or befriending a theifor a free-loader. lol
And it's probably easier for sighted persons to detect when a person is lying. I wonder how blind persons know when they're being lied to. Do you need to be more inquisitive or something? I wonder...
I used to not be so judgemental as I am today, but i guess my bad chain of friendships had something to do with it who knows. It's like if someone does the slightes thing I dislike I dimiss them not giving them a chance. sometimes I stuck in a constant confusion wondering if I did right or wrong thing. I mean everyone needs friends but they also want to ensure their safety, which I'm sure is everyone's top priority here.
I really enjoyed the old days when I wasn't like that though cuz I enjoyed meeting new people I gave them a chance without fault even if I heard it from others, but now it's different. I guess that's all I'm going to say.
I try not to judge them though I can't categorically say it hasn't happened. I'm a curious guy so I usually start a conversation on something moderately controversial and go by their reaction
It depends on how you use the word "judge." We all judge because that's how we make choices. We weigh pros and cons against our past experiences or our comfort level with new folks or what have you. Also, we all have tastes and preferences in who we like and who we do not, whether it's right or wrong. If you are a person who likes absolutely all people no matter what, you are either very gifted and well-rounded or very naive, take your pick. I can't say whether I take people at face value or not, because I don't spend lots of time amongst strangers.
It depends on the situation. I don't believe that first imprssions will always lasts because you get to find out what the person is really like when you start to be friends with them. then, its up to you to either decide to continue to be their friend or avoid them. But for me, its better to get to know the person first before creating some judgements about them. I like my friends for who they are even though they have lots of imperfections because i'm the same way. so, don't base it all on first impressions or how they look like.
I like people for who they are, unless the person has given me grief about my blindness before, or if they're just plain mean. Trust me, because I went to a public school, I encountered a lot of that. Over the years, I have learned to tune out the insults. It wasn't like they were throwing things at me physically, but I did get a lot of verbal stuff. There's no need for that.
I am the type that judges a person by getting to know them. Me being a lesbian and also having a rather hard temper I like to let people get to know me to before they make an opinion.
I'm not judgemental but I do have a very low trust level and talking to people due to the number of betrayals I've gone through in my life.
I am judgemental in the sense that I trust my intuition, and therefore I can get a pretty good idea of a person upon first talking to them. However, I don't judge peoples' actions as good or bad, as long as they don't harm myself, and most importantly, those I love.
I try to have an open mind when I first meet someone, since my first impressions aren't always the ones I'll have later. I care about the guy's personality, and once I get to know him, then, I'll start judging him, because I don't like it when guys treat me like crap. I can pretty much tell if they'll treat me good or not. I can also tell if my friends' boyfriends will treatthem good or not. I mean, there r certain guys I refuse to date, such as druggheads, (illegal users, not over-the-counter meds), cheaters, liars, and guys that refuse to respect me for who I am rather than for who I'm not and what I can, and more importantly, won't, give to them.
Judging a person isn't always a bad thing, because that's how we decide if whether or not we want to get to know a person.
I say judging with a closed mind is definitely not a good thing, because you can lose out on getting to know a good person.
Of course I judge people. I don't have a specific judging precedure, and I will pass judgement at a time of my choosing, which may be but isn't necessarily, dependent on a range of factors. My judgement may be a professional judgement if the reason for my interaction with people is work. Otherwise, I may allow my own personal attitude to influence my judgement of people. My judgements aren't restricted to people I don't know. I judge members of my families, even the nuclear family. My judgements can strongly influence the extent to which I associate with people. In some cases, the judgement may be such that I implement a total shunning policy. For other people, My judgement may provoke a policy of caution and constant awarness were practicable. Other people are more positively judged, so I will interact with them and support them more. It isn't bad to judge. It is better to judge than not to judge. I avoid so many problems just by making the correct judgements. Sometimes I make incorrect judgements, but if the weakness of people is to be determined by the mistakes they make, let the strength of people be determined by the mistakes they correct.
I do judge some people but others I do not.
I have learned to have a healthy distrust but, I do not take whatever other people say about others as fact. I give people the benefit of the doubt and even though I have bumped my head a few times already, I prefer learning on my own about how people really are. And yes, if someone I trust says that I should be careful of so and so, I take the advise and try to be extra careful.
I don't judge anyone. The only thing matters to me is the inside of a person than the outside. That is what I'm looking for too.
Hmmm! I try and keep an open heart and open mind as well and hardly ever judge by first impressions and/or first meetings, although quite a few of my friends met my instant approval of who they were at our first meetin but some take just a bit longer than that to really prove themselves to me, same with anyone I know really.
Jen.
I guess that some of us have to learn on our own what works for us and what not.
I judge and am damn proud of it! heeheehee For example. I don't want to talk to certain users on here who have a in my oppinion, dumb user names, or just a user name that I think ... um wow? Also, I don't talk to people who's public qns are to say the least, lacking in brain power. lol There are so many ways I judge people I can't even name them all. I just have the female balls to say it. lol
oh, hahahahah, wow...lol, female balls? hmmm! I've gotta tell thanh that! lol, jk, yeah, lol, dumb user names, annoying personalities, oh, and definitely ppl who think they know it all! lol, and so so much more I could write down...lol, maybe I should start a board about it! lol
People that push other people down in order to be noticed totally get's on my wrong side in the shortest time possible. I get sooo, upset. And people who laugh about serious issues; like the deaths of inocent people; or the rape of really small children. I just erase them; no amount of pursuasion can change my mind about people like that. No matter how articulated they may be or where they've studied, I'll never have time for someone like that. I'll add more as I discover them.
I totally agree with Nem, and Dancing After Dark. Anyone who says they don't judge is either outright lying, or deluding themselves. The word judge has been given a very negative connotation, when it doesn't necessarily deserve one. We couldn't make any decisions in life without exercising judgment about our surroundings. I think it gets the negative rep because of behaviors we demonstrate as a result of decision making.
Do I like people for who they are? some, yes. Do I judge people before getting to know them? I do. Alot of my first judgements depend on chemestry and if I can get pass that then I'll be getting to know the person and judge them according to their character. Usually I think people judge others because they're sensative or insecure. I know I do anyway, and its the only way I can protect my fragile heart, reputation, whatever.
Hmmm, me here. Some what.
if it's a meeting say at a bar or something, i would make observations and mental notes but nothing would be set in stone judgements, yes we all judge one way or another but it's natural, it's r instincts, everyone is the way they are for a reason,so I like getting to know a person before anything.casual
I don't believe I have ever met anybody who never judges.
Judging people negatively without having interacted with them somewhat is something I attempt to avoid at all cost.
However, we all do judge, in my opinion; regardless of what anyone says.
I, for example, would try to remember that we all don't have equally fine days hence, the first impression that I get from interacting with a person shouldn't necessarily be the final impression.
However, I don't claim that I'm perfect either; if a person comes across as conceited, a know it all, or as someone who can never be wrong; I totally switch off no matter what they say afterword.
If I find that me talking to someone is not constructive at all, I'd avoid or annoy them; depending on my mood. lol
I try not to judge people in these senses, however I do know what I look for in a person. That being said, I try to atleast give anyone atleast one chance.
I usually do both, but I mainly go off personality unless they give a bad impression at first.
They are either
1. anoying
2 troublesome
3 creepy
4 rude
5 immature and random
6 ignorant or not not intellectual
7 a threat or harmful
8 dominating or keeps talking
9 don't care about your talking and keeps chattering on with theres.